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His nurse asked, “What’s so funny?”The doctor replies, “You need to go in and see this old guy. He has his girlfriend’s name, ‘Tina’ tattooed on his pecker.”So the nurse decides to go check it out. A while later she comes out of the exam room and tells the doctor, “You were mistaken about him. He doesn’t have his girlfriend’s name tattooed on his equipment, he has his ship’s name tattooed on it. The Ticonderoga!”These are compliments of Andrew B.A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.The man says: “I’m sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed: ‘Guess who?’”“But why?” asks the man.“I’m a divorce lawyer.” the man replies.You may have heard about the Southern. Dictate that?"Even when it was just the two of us, I couldn't allude out loudto Uhura having been a man, and I had to use male pronouns whenreferring to Janice."What can I do? He's the captain." This is probably an alien concept, but you could show a littlebackbone," I suggested. "I'd think more highly of you if you did." You would?" she said, looking at me hopefully.For some reason my opinion mattered to Uhura, though whether thatwas because as the only other man Janice had turned into a womanshe felt we shared a unique connection, or because I now wore theface of the woman she had loved, I didn't know. What was importantwas that it did, and I could use that.At the end of my first week in the brig, Janice visited me flankedby my - now her - security team. Leaving them outside she joinedme in the cell where we could speak without being overheard. Inthe week since I'd last seen her something had changed."Why are you growing a beard?" I wanted to make my own mark on this body, and I.
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